IELTS Writing task 2 | Species conservation

Since the mid-20th Century, there has been a rapid growth in the rate at which animal species are becoming extinct. This loss of biodiversity poses an immediate threat to the environment and has a direct effect on the stability of human society due to its impact on food production. As a result, it is essential that money is spent on animal conservation.

Animal conservation is essential due to the role that different species play in ecosystems. Predators such as wolves are at risk of extinction in many countries. These predators control the numbers of herbivores, like rabbits, which damage crops and reduce food production. As a result, if wolves become extinct, declining agricultural productivity would affect human populations, so it is important to conserve these species.

Those who oppose spending money on protecting animals claim that there are many human problems that should be prioritised. These include issues such as poverty and starvation, which are major causes of human suffering. Consequently, they feel that money would be better spent on aid to tackle these problems. This argument, however, fails to consider the role animals play in preventing these issues. As previously mentioned, many species actually improve human living standards by protecting food supplies and ensuring stable incomes for farmers. Spending money on animal conservation is therefore an effective way to reduce human problems.

In conclusion, money spent on animal conservation is not wasted as it benefits human populations and ensures food security. If this money is not spent and ecologically important species become extinct, human populations will be at even greater risk of starvation and suffering.

(266 words)

Essay analysis

This essay is very concise because it contains a lot of information in quite a small number of words.

The introduction sets the topic well in the first sentence, as it introduces the idea of extinction. The second sentence expands this by connecting extinction to effects on humans, while the final sentence directly answers the question. Because of the strong introduction, the writer’s position is clear and on topic from the start of the essay. The idea development is clear, relevant and logical, and there is not really much that could be added to improve the essay.

All of the paragraphs fit well together. Look back through the essay and look at the way that transition signals are used to guide the reader through the essay and connect the ideas. You will also notice that transition signals (however, therefore) are not always used at the beginning of sentences. Coherence is helped by referring back to earlier ideas (‘As previously mentioned’ in paragraph 3), which prevents ideas from being repeated. It also contributes to the low word count because of the effective summary of the entire previous paragraph.

This essay has some great topic-specific vocabulary which builds an academic writing style. There is very good use of collocation (words that go strongly together), and the meanings are very precise. 

The grammar here is accurate throughout and shows good complexity. Punctuation is well used and accurate throughout the essay. There are frequent complex noun phrases (e.g. declining agricultural productivity) and these are used in other complex structures:

If + S + V + O, S + would + V + O – If wolves become extinct, declining agricultural productivity would affect human populations