In this post, we look at an IELTS writing task 1 and give it a rating from an examiner’s perspective. The report in this IELTS task 1 rating would score 5.5 in the test.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The graph below shows the consumption of fish and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The line graph shows the usage of fish and different kinds of meat in European country between 1979 and 2004
Firstly, the consumption of chicken had a slight increase from nearly 150 grans to over 150 grams between 1979 and 1984. In the same period, both lamb and beef had decreasing trends. Beef had a dramatic drop from almost 225 grams to over 150 grams. Moreover, lamb decreased steadily from 150g grams to nearly 100grams. However, fish remained the same number in this period. Fish and lamb remained stable between 1984 and 1989. Chicken and beef had a slight increase. Beef increased from next period of 1989 to 1999, beef dropped steadily from nearly 175 grams to 150 grams. At the same time, lamb decreased dramatically from nearly 100 grams to just over 50 grams. However, chicken increased steadily from nearly 160 grams to 200 grams. Fish still remained stable. Both lamb and chicken had increasing trends between 1999 and 2004. Chicken increased dramatically from 100grams to almost 250 grams. However, beef had a steady decrease from nearly 150 grams to 100grams. Fish remained the same.
Overall, the usage of chicken is the only increasing trend between 1979 and 2004. Both beef and lamb decreases to nearly the half of the first amount. Fish almost remained the same among the whole period.
Task Achievement
When you look at this task 1 you will see that it is far too long. In fact, it is almost the same length recommended for writing task 2 at 240 words. This is because the writer has focused on every detail instead of the key features/bullet points. As a result, the reporting of the information is very mechanical and the writer has missed the subject in most of the report ie ‘Moreover, lamb decreased steadily from 150g grams to nearly 100 grams’. Lamb did not decrease but ‘lamb consumption’ or ‘the amount of lamb eaten’ did fall. When you are practicing your writing task 1’s, make sure you refer to the subject. Also, check to see if you have too much detail instead of the key features/bullet points as this can have a bad effect on your score.
Band 5
- (Academic) recounts detail mechanically with no clear overview; there may be no data to support the description
- Presents, but inadequately covers, key features/bullet points; there may be a tendency to focus on detail
Coherence and cohesion
The way that the writer has reported the information is very repetitive which is easy for the reader to see. If the writer had just reported the key features/bullet points, included some referencing and substitution, then it would be easier to read and the progression would be better. Also, there is no paragraphing in this report which has also affected coherence. Paragraphing is not given in the academic writing task 1 descriptors until bands 8 and 9, so it shows good control if you break the information into body paragraphs when you write your task 1. However, just having body paragraphs does not mean you will get a band 8 for coherence and cohesion.
Band 5
- Presents information and ideas but these are not arranged coherently and there is no clear progression in the response
- Uses some basic cohesive devices but these may be inaccurate or repetitive
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but the writer did not use enough vocabulary to refer to the subject as mentioned in Task Achievement. Many students get confused as they are often taught that they cannot use the same vocabulary as in the question prompt. This is correct for the introduction ‘General Statement’ as it needs to be rewritten using synonyms, word form, word order, or different voice (whether verbs are active or passive). However, in the body you can use the vocabulary ie in this task the subject is the consumption of these different foods so some examples would be ‘the amount of fish consumed’ / ‘chicken consumption increased’ / ‘beef and lamb became less popular’/ ‘fewer people chose to eat beef and consumption fell to….’. As you can see from the examples, there are different ways the writer could refer to the subject in this task.
One other important point to think about in this task is the lack of adverbs to describe the data. This is not ‘raw data’ (exact figures) as you would find in a table. So, the writer could have used words like ‘approximately’ ‘almost’ or ‘just above/below’ to make the information more accurate.
Band 6
- Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
- Attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
- Makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication
Grammar
The writer has used a mixture of simple, and complex sentences in this task. However, the writer could have increased the score by grouping the information together into complex sentences and shortening the detail as mentioned earlier. There are also some tense errors in this report. It is important to look at the date of the task as it will tell you what tense you need to use when writing.
Band 6
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
- Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication
Our candidate would have scored a 5 for task achievement and coherence, with grammar and vocabulary scoring 6 each, giving an overall score of 5.5. Not all of the errors have been corrected in this report. Take a look through again and see how you could improve the band score.
Is there anything that surprised you about the score for this report ? Have your say, and comment in the section below!
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